In Which Eponine Teaches the Guys a Lesson
by aurimaedre
Summary: One-shot of Eponine out drinking the guys during a drinking game.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Les Mis.**

Grantaire was pacing around the bar, trying to convince his friends to join him in a drinking game. So far all of the Amis that were currently present had refused him for reasons he thought were quite absurd. Just because they knew they would lose shouldn't be a reason to stay out of the game. Even Bahorel refused, causing R to throw himself in a chair and the next empty table and sulk until the last of their friends showed up.

Eponine and Combeferre had finished their last class of the week and walked into the Musain together to join their friends to relax for the night. Their heads were close together so that they could hear each other's words. They had just come out of their psychology class and were discussing some of the more complicated theories the teacher had brought up in several complicated disorders. Eponine was, of course, talking about it from a social perspective while Combeferre was arguing that the biochemical pathways and mechanisms were the more important routes to consider when treating a patient. They were so engrossed in their conversation that Combeferre ended up walking into an overly excited and rambunctious Grantaire.

"Damn it, R! What the hell?" Combeferre spat.

"Come drink with me, 'Ferre. I wanna play a drinking game and everyone else is refusing. Please 'Ferre, you're my only hope." He pleaded.

"First of all, you are not going to convince me by quoting my favorite movie. Second, of course they all refused! Playing any sort of game involving alcohol with you is practically asking for a black out… especially with a group as competitive as us." Combeferre said rationally.

"But… 'Ferre… I'm bored and I want to play a game." He whined.

"I'm in." said Eponine, speaking for the first time since Grantaire had approached them.

Grantaire looked at her speechless in disbelief while Combeferre was able to still have control over his vocal skills, "Are you sure about that Eponine? I mean… it's R… Not even Bahorel can come close to his tolerance and he's a bulky guy."

Eponine shot Combeferre a withering glare, "Well, what's the beverage of choice? Vodka or tequila?" She asked calmly, ignoring the guys blatant stares.

"Wait… you are actually going to do this? You are agreeing to enter into a drinking game with me?" Grantaire asked dumbfounded.

"I said I was didn't I?"

Grantaire smiled widely and turned to the rest of the Amis, "Screw you guys! Eponine said she would play with me!" he shouted.

""Ponine is going to what?!" Came a collective shout.

Eponine smirked, "I'm going to sit down to a drinking game with R since you guys are too chicken shit to do it."

"Hey, I'm not a chicken!" Bahorel shouted indignantly, "And if she's playing I'm playing too!" The rest of the guys nodded in agreement, all refusing to be bested by a girl.

They were now a quarter way through the second bottle of tequila and the only ones left in the game were R, Eponine, and Bahorel. The others bowed out after the third shot for various reasons and were now speculating the event in shock.

"I'm out… I can't… no more…" Bahorel moaned, his words badly slurred. "Damn 'Ponine, you need to teach me your tricks! You… look… you look, well doubled. But other than that-okay, just hold still for a moment so I can tell you."

"Bahorel, hon, I haven't moved. I think it's time to get some water in you." Eponine said as she pushed her glass towards him.

He drank deeply from the glass before saying, "Okay, as I was saying. You don't even look phased… after five shots of Patron! Hell, even R is starting to look a little glassy eyed! This isn't fair!"

"Yea, 'Ponine… It's getting a little scary." Joly said nervously. He was currently the most sober one of the bunch and he moved closer to Eponine.

"How are you feeling, Eponine. Any feelings of sickness? Confusion?" He asked, leaning forward to place his hand against her forehead to spot check her temperature while simultaneously checking her lips, skin, and eyes for any discoloration.

"Shit, Joly. Will you quit fussing-"

She was interrupted by Joly putting his hand over her mouth while shushing her. "Be quit, 'Ponine. I'm trying to listen to your breathing."

Eponine sighed, "I'm almost afraid to ask." She said to the hypochondriac.

"Irregular or slow breathing is an indication of alcohol poisoning." Joly said matter of factually.

"Seriously Joly?! I am not in danger of alcohol poisoning! Now let me get back to drinking R under the table, I'm not done teaching him a lesson." She said exasperated.

Joly muttered under his breath as he sat back down beside Combeferre. "This isn't natural. Did you know she had such a high tolerance?" He asked to his friend who was currently intently studying Eponine.

While the game resumed Combeferre leaned towards Joly, "You know… it would be highly beneficial to my research to get some samples from Eponine." He analyzed. "You know, get some blood samples and compare the blood alcohol concentration to her level of tolerance. It would be a fascinating study; she's the most interesting case study I have come across since my proposal started."

Joly scoffed, "Good luck in getting her to agree to that."

Combeferre sat back and cupped his hand around his chin in a contemplative manner and he watched the tequila continue to disappear.

"R, you okay there? You are looking a little peakish." Eponine said, slightly concerned for their friend.

Grantaire swayed a little bit and looked a little green around the edges, "'Ponine… I think… I give. You win. I don't know how you do it."

"Hey Joly, would you mind helping R to the restroom? He looks like he is going to be sick… and I don't think he could make it to the restroom on his own." Eponine said worriedly.

As the two left Combeferre slide into Grantaire's empty seat. "How are you feeling, Eponine? You made it to about 8 after all."

Eponine raised her hand dismissively as she grabbed her glass of water, "Oh don't worry about me."

Combeferre placed his hands on the table and fiddled with a straw wrapped displaying his nerves.

"Spit it out Combeferre, your fiddling is giving me a headache."

"I was just wondering… could I have some blood samples?" He spit out.

Eponine laughed heartily, "'Ferre, I think you are still a little drunk for the tequila. "

Combeferre stood up quickly, "I've got to go, give everyone my goodbyes and I will meet you all back here tomorrow."

The next day Eponine was drinking a cup of coffee at the Musain looking over her psychology notes while waiting for the others to arrive. She looked up in time to see Combeferre rush in with his laptop and messenger bag looking stressed. When he spotted Eponine he visibly relaxed as he strutted over to her and flopped down in the seat across from her.

"Eponine, just the person I was looking for. I wanted to talk to you." He stated, focusing on the contents of his bag. He pulled out a single-typed sheet of paper and placed it on the table.

"Um… sure, 'Ferre. What about? And why does it look like there is school assignment on the table?"

"Well, you didn't seem to take me seriously last night and so I went home and put together a proper proposal."

"Ah, I guess that would explain the tie then… but what are you talking about, 'Ferre? I don't remember much from last night."

"You know about my research topic and I was thinking last night that you would be an excellent addition to my study. Now, the study is completely anonymous and all I would need is a couple of vials of blood. I have it all stipulated within my research proposal."

"Is this in APA style?!" Eponine exclaimed in disbelief.

"Of course it is! Now back to the topic. I would need to take samples before, intermittently during, and after exposing you the controlled environment. As you also know, I am currently a phlebotomist to help pay for schooling so I can assure you that I am qualified to take the samples myself. I would just need your signature here and then on a waiver that is in my bag."

Eponine's mouth hung open as she stared at the medical student, "Are you kidding me?"

"Absolutely not! If you will just listen to reason-"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before getting a face full of cold coffee as Eponine stormed out in a huff. "I can't believe you would even THINK to ask me something like that! First I have R texting me constantly asking me for and rematch and now you asking this absurd question! The answer is NO!"

Combeferre coughed and wiped his eyes of the bitter drink. His eyes landed on the soaked proposal that he spent all night thinking up. "I didn't even get to show her my power point presentation…"


End file.
